So it's the dead of night as I write this, but I'm up working late and find myself just thinking and wanting to write instead of concentrating, so I find myself here ready to share something I jotted down over two years ago. The whole thing reminds me of how I feel right now, in terms of relationships with other men. While I'd love to find a partner and kind of resent hooking up or friends with benefits, I find myself more and more thinking that the idea of having someone around to be physically intimate maybe something I could handle. This following attempt at a poem though reminds me of the problem inherent in any relationship built from that foundation; I can't ultimately force myself to continue on with that level intimacy without that intimacy existing on other levels. Inherently to me a friend with benefit situation just strikes me as something that can't work for me. And the easiest fix at the end is to just stop.
"Your lips crushed against mine,
Fingers touching exposed skin,
Bodies begging to slide together,
Clothes thrown aside,
A quarter bottle of wine sitting nearby,
Empty glasses tipped over in our heat.
Our lips search over lengths of two bodies,
Begging for you,
Begging for me,
As we tumble through the night,
Cherishing our temporary lapse,
Into what we know doesn't work..."
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