So it's been almost seven months since I last posted, and all I have for right now is a link to Demi Lovato's new song "Skyscaper" since it vibes well with my current state of being. Overall, things are much, much better than they were when I last wrote, but for the past week or so I've felt exhausted and feel like everything I've built up is on the verge of collapse. As a result, my schedule has started to become more erratic, and I'm just trying to re-center myself to pull everything back together.
There isn't a particular outside force other than the nebulous thing called "grad school" that is tearing me down directly like she sings about, except myself myself. I still find myself going back and forth with this commitment to my future and the sacrifices it potentially calls for. In making some of these perceived sacrifices, I find myself feeling someone who is watching everyone live life, while I'm trapped...
I'd really love some guarantees right now in terms of knowing exactly what the rewards will be if I do my best, and I'm honestly scared of my best falling short. Due to this, I know that ultimately I'm only holding myself back, and I want to let go, but I'm scared; I also realize that there is only one person who can do this, me.
Anyways, more soon about progress since February, and maybe even some science pictures/art to throw up here!
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